Post by alexis on May 25, 2012 13:53:48 GMT -5
| [atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 460px; background-image: url(http://i44.tinypic.com/34fb0ns.jpg);-moz-border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; -webkit-border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; border: 4px ridge #7a9aa9, bTable][tr][cs=2] alexis lily bennett. twenty four. local. nina dobrev. | |
[rs=2] | Dear Diary, Isn't it funny how everything can change in a matter of seconds, minutes, hours? A single word, a phrase, and everything is different, suddenly. Sometimes all it takes is a smile. I haven't felt genuinely happy for a while, now. Everything's been so hard with Dad being the way he is, and I've always felt like I had some responsibility over the family because I was the oldest girl and Dad wasn't there and Mom spent most of her time trying to get Dad to sort himself out. It was hard, but worth it. My siblings are everything to me. And though I'm glad she did it, everything got a lot harder after Mom threw Dad out. After that, I was just busy trying to take care of everything that Mom couldn't do - she's only one person, after all - and I didn't have time for happiness. I wasn't exactly unhappy, but I wasn't happy either. Something changed today. I don't know what, or how, exactly, but something shifted. I'm still the same as ever - sarcastic, blunt and friendly - but yet I feel different. There's just something... new. I was coming back from work and I bumped into one of the new people in town - and when I say bumped, I mean actually walked into. Is that completely ridiculous? Feeling like some stranger woke me up from the daze I'd fallen into? I'm not a romantic. I don't even believe in romantic love, not after seeing what Dad did to Mom and our entire family. I'm not the type to fall for a stranger in a street, not the type to exclaim to feel electricity when I touch someone or say I see fireworks when I kiss. I'm just not that type of person. All of that is impractical, illogical, and it just doesn't fit into my personality. But I cannot get this man out of my head, and it's utterly absurd. All the same, I feel differently about things now. I'm looking at things differently. Has he really changed me so much in such a short space of time? I can't find it in myself to dislike him for that. Feeling so alive, awake, happy is amazing. It's like I'm looking at everything with fresh eyes now. And I love it. |
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chloe. 15. 5+
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