Post by diandre on May 22, 2012 22:40:06 GMT -5
| [atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 460px; background-image: url(http://i44.tinypic.com/34fb0ns.jpg);-moz-border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; -webkit-border-radius: 0px 0px 0px 0px; border: 4px ridge #7a9aa9, bTable][tr][cs=2] diandre louvel fontaine. twenty. celebrity. jensen ackles. | |
[rs=2] | Be my biggest fan "Bonjour, mon cher! Vous êtes à la recherche belle ce matin. Ahaha, you caught me! I'm the famous Diandre Fontaine! Am I conceited? Perhaps....but I mean, look at me! I'm gorgeous, ahahaha! I like long walks on the beach and feisty women...just kidding but seriously, I have a soft spot for anything that looks good in a skirt. On occasion, I've been known to go the other way, so to speak but ultimately, I'm a lady's man. I suppose it's genetic or something fucked up like that. I've always been the kind of guy that tries to have his cake and eat it, too. If I think the challenge is worth the trouble, I'll do everything in my power to get what I want and trust me, it usually doesn't take much. Ahaha, who wouldn't want to sleep with me? Well, there was that one girl from Pasadena, but we''ll touch that topic a bit later, alright? My père is none other than Kaarlo Fontaine and my lovely mère is Geniveve Fontaine. I was their firstborn child, and I'd have to say that I couldn't ask for a better père et la mère. I have five frères et sœurs. Three of them are les filles, and the other two are garçons. I adore them, even though I usually only seem to be out for myself. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a wee bit immature but hey, I might as well live up the youth while it lasts, if you catch my drift. I'm a bit of a party animal but when the family needs me, I'm there in an instant, I swear. Bros before hos, as they say. My old man is the bomb, and I plan to be just like him. Well, after I mature a bit, of course. I certainly hope I don't have grey hair at twenty. That'd just be awkward and unappealing, ahahaha! I kid, I kid. My mère is quite the bombshell, if I do say so myself. Between the two of them, it's quite easy to see where I get my good looks from. I'm actually a twin, believe it or not. In my opinion, however, Micah doesn't even look half as good as me. If he gets laid, it's only because of his name or pity. Ahahahaha, I'm kidding! Honest. I'm rather protective of my younger siblings and although I often opt to tour the world with my manager and two amis, I'll beat the shit out of anybody that fucks with them, I can promise you that. Right-o, the girl from Pasadena. Well, let me tell you another story before that, amoureux! I promise it'll lead up to the first woman to ever reject the great Diandre Fontaine! I have a history of getting drunk and starting fights. I'm not proud of it, let me tell you. The first time this happened was when I was about sixteen, maybe fifteen. I was in Brooklyn, attending an after party. I had just gotten done with promoting some shitty product called proactiv. I was about to screw some chick in a closet when this dude came along and outed my slight case of bisexuality like it was everybody's business. Well, everybody knows now, so you don't have to waste your time outing me to everybody and their cousin because I already did that, which is another topic I'll save for later. Anyways, I had already consumed about six or seven beers, and I was drunk enough that I didn't give a shit but sober enough to throw a punch or two. I ended up breaking the poor fucker's nose and maybe his jaw. I don't really recall the latter. All I remember is that I was covered in blood that wasn't my own and when I went to arraignment, the bitch judge said she was going to make an example out of me because apparently, the celebrities have it too easy, especially the Fontaine family. Naturally, as is the Diandre Way, I only made things worse for myself. I pushed my lawyer aside and told the judge that she was just jealous that she couldn't sleep with me. I then proceeded to go in a tirade about how she seriously needed to take a step off her high chair and get laid. I was in a juvenile detention center for about a year and following that, I was on probation with required alcoholics anonymous meetings, alcohol awareness classes, and anger management. It was only after I had paid my dues or some, stupid shit that I found out the bitch judge was the boy's mother. I mean...aren't they supposed to be recused or some shit because it's a conflict of interest? I understand that she was protecting her bitch boy but damn. When I was seventeen, shortly after my birthday, my self-destructive habits resumed. I quickly found myself beyond bars for the same reason that I was in juvie. I was in Pasadena at the time, having just attended some stupid shit called comic-con. Yes, I was at another after party. Anyways, I was standing beside this chick that probably stand to lose a few pounds and wax her fucking unibrow. I thought I'd make her feel better about herself by giving her some of the Fontaine special treatment, if you catch my drift. Unfortunately, her brother-cousin was there and intercepted me, thinking he was all that. I thought I was doing the inbred bitch a favor, ahahaha! I told him to stop being a cockblocker then knocked his lights out. When the girl saw me doing that to her beloved brother-cousin, she called me an asshole and proceeded to rant about the fact that she had enough self-respect not to sleep with a man whore that had a criminal record. Fun fact, negative attentions helps keep our wallets lined, ahahaha! Go ahead and spew all the bogus shit that you want because the more negative media we get, the more curiosity takes hold. Shit, with my record, accompanied with the fact my entire family is famous, I currently have a higher rating than Hugh fucking Hefner. Women spread their legs more for me than they do for him and on occasion, I'll even get men to give themselves up to me, ahahaha! Apparently, I have a penchant for pissing off all the wrong people because the next thing I know, I'm in a cell, teaching Tiny how to fuck his next victim. I was released from big boy jail about the time I turned nineteen. Immediately after my release, I grabbed my manger and brother from another mother then left the country again to tour the world. I got engaged but never showed up for my own wedding because I had a huge fear of commitment. Now, she's raising my kids in Europe on her own. Yes, she had twins and before you ask, my family doesn't know about her or the kids. I don't know what to do about it and right now, I don't much care." Scream as loud as you can "Even if my career had been shot to shit, I'd still have more money than I know what to do with. I'm set for life and then some. Sure, I love the attention but at the same time, I don't really care. I can easily get attention without the fame, ahahaha! It doesn't take much for me to look like an idiot and no matter what I do, I have looks and money so in the very least, if I ever settle down, I'll make damned sure that I have a trophy wife. For now, I'm content to just drink, screw, and party. I'm living every frat boy's dream, didn't you hear?" 'Cause you know it's just a one night stand "Right, I promised to tell you about the time I outed my own bisexuality, didn't I? Well, when I ran away from my own wedding, I shacked up with a dude from Paris. He threatened to tell the media vultures about my 'issue' so I told them for him. It's really as simple as that. No, random fuck is going to spew my business to the world for me when I'm more than capable of doing it on my own. Well, I think that's about it, ahahahaha! If you want, you and I can meet up later for an interview that's more...in depth." |
vee. 18. 5+. |
